2008-02-26

Hello Everyone!

Hi Everyone,
I hope you all had a good day. I had a pretty good day. I just want to know from all of you that have lost a parent, how did it effect you? Even though we know if they are suffering, it
is for the best if they pass away. I find myself afterwards being mad at the fact that they had to suffer at all. My mother was in a wheelchair and dependant on everyone for the last 17 months of her life. In her last weeks, she could not get out of bed because she had broken bones in her back, she asked to go the bathroom, we told her the nurse will be in with the bedpan. She cried outloud, I don't want a bedpan, I want to go into the bathroom like I use too. That just killed me. She wanted to keep her dignity as long as she could. Her mind wanted to do things that her body could not. Which made it even harder. On the day of her funeral I was ok, until I came home and started folding clothes, all of a sudden a pain came over me both physically and mentally that I have never felt before, I realized I would never see her again. That was the most painful feeling I have ever felt in my life.
Janet

1 comment:

  1. Hello -
    Of all the things I am thankful for, the fact that my mother's illness was quick is one of the greatest! It was 3 months and 3 days from her diagnosis of pancreatic cancer to her death and for those of you who may have known my mother, she would never have wanted it any other way. Not that I wouldn't do anything for another minute with her, but I myself could not have handled what Janet endured for a year and a half. It may sound selfish to admit that, but I also know that my mother is still with me and her grandchildren every day! I would like to mention one other thing that I have told Janet many times: Although it was hard for her to see her mother in that condition, it always sounded like she was more lucid and aware after the stroke than she had been in a VERY long time. Like something was triggered back to the way it used to be. I think that makes the lose even harder as you lost something that you may feel you only had for such a short time!
    I love you Janet, and remember that BOTH your parents are with you anytime you need them, whether you call on them or not!
    Gina

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