I wanted to share this saying with you all. I was watching bill cosby the other day on Oprah and he said something that hit me like a ton of bricks. I remember in one of my earlier posts writing about how a big loss in your life may have affected you. Gina replied to that post. I wrote that because I noticed since my mothers passing, I sometimes found myself lashing out at family for stupid reasons. I could not understand why. I figured at first it was because I was grieving and not sleeping well. But when I heard Bill Cosby say, hurt people, hurt people. I realized my lashing out is because I was hurting and I wanted someone else to hurt as well. That helped better than 25 counseling sessions could do. I feel free from all the thoughts I was having about why did this have to happen to her and us, could we have prevented it etc. I just wanted to share that with you all. I am really loving this new earth class with Orpah & Eckhart Toole. Many people in the class from around the world are having moments of awareness they say. It's really cool to watch someone talk to them from Germany or China. We have really become conditioned all our lives by our religions, society our roles as sister, mother etc. When we face certain situations in our lives we react by the tapes in our heads which affect our emotions. He helps us to see that if we try to not react to those old thoughts or tapes in certain situations maybe we can find another way of resolving the issue or feelings we are having. One of his thoughts is those tapes are the past, try to stay in the now. Staying in the now, the present, has helped me to let go of the pain I had been holding onto from watching my mother suffer for 17 months after her stroke. Although I stll have moments, they are getting easier to get through. I feel happier now all day. I find it easier to get on with the day and I am looking foward to starting my life over. Mom's Birthday is tomorrow, I wanted to go to her grave, but I heard we may get downpours, I will have to see what the day brings.
Take Care, talk to you soon,