Angel's for Elsie

Hi Everyone,
I posted Angel's watching over you for Elsie. I also wish the same for you as well. Tomorrow morning she goes back in for her operation. It was hard getting out of the car on Sunday. I just felt we both were feeling the next time we see eachother things will be different. that is what focusing on the now has been doing for me, not just thinking about the next time I will see her. I am watching the Oprah show now and it is all about the New Earth book and class I have been doing. I really love to hear how it is helping people all around the world. It has made me so more peaceful, focusing on the now, being present with whatever I am doing. I look back on the past two years and I can see I was in such a state of constant pain, focusing on my mothers suffering. When she passed it was devastating to me. Being there with her was all I knew for so long and I bonded so tightly with her it really felt as if I died along with her. I don't mean to sound depressing but it is the honest truth. The days after she was gone, everything was so difficult to do, the wash was an effort and the other stuff. Not one friend came by and helped me to get out and try to cheer me up, I would alway do that for others , but I have come to realize people are so self absorbed, that I will no longer do that. Think of the other person's problems!! and be compassionate. Then I picked up this book and what hit me the most is that when he says when the shutters are closed, the light cannot come in. I was living with the shutters closed for so long, I did not know how to change that. I learned from him the focusing on the now, really does keep you from replaying the tapes in your head over and over. They just stop. I urge anyone to try it. Then I felt myself in a happier, peaceful state. I felt myself healing from the past two years. I now can think of my mother without as much pain. Although I miss her everyday, and will continue to. I have chosen to remember her in a different light, think of the days when we went shopping and went to friendly's and had some laughs. I realized she would not want me to be putting myself through all that pain. I have decided to take the energy I put in to caring for her and use just that on myself. I am quitting smoking, I am not all the way there yet, but the medicine has helped me to cut way back. I feel by next week I will be off them for good. Then I would like to start working out again and go back to college for my master's. I feel my best years are ahead of me and this book was the start of it. Thanks for visiting,
Take Care,
Janet