2009-11-16

Baby Steps along the Journey.

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Hi Everyone,
I hope you are doing well I am doing good. I have been reflecting on my life the past few days for some reason??? But I truly feel happier than ever before. So I opened my notepad and wrote this down. I hope you can relate to it as we all share common trials and tests that make us the unique individuals that we are today.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care,
Janet :)

I was born a little baby girl, who
became a sibling and a sister
and a part of the world. I learned to
survive when chaos was a part of my daily
life.

Young and given more than I cared
to bare. Mom needs a rest and that
is all they would share. Left to wonder
did I hurt her and make her disappear.
Off to Aunties for you and your brother,
When I cried in protest, a drug you gave
me to forget.

This cycle continued for many a year,
each time filled me with more anxiety and fear.
I wanted to fix you, but did not have the power
too.

A young Mother I became, No regrets,
no shame. I had the mother daughter relationship
I had longed to claim.

Different trial and tribulations followed throughout
my twenties, but stronger I grew and happiness was
at my last at my door. Especially thanks to
Pete my hubby and two children I adore :)

I learned that my Journey has only made me
the person I need to be. I learned why my mother needed a rest
and know now she did her best. In the end she was my
best friend. I had that mother daughter relationship thanks
to the small moments of loving tenderness we shared as the last
20 years passed.

On the day we laid you to rest with Dad, I was
stayed strong, and a held onto what little
peace I had. When I arrived home, the knowledge
of never seeing you or feeling your touch became to
much. I exploded into whales of tears and pain throughout
my body that I have never experienced and had to
hide until they subsided.

I woke the next day, having to start my Journey
once again, one baby step at a time. I fought
through the pain, and focused on the light. You
are with me in spirit as I travel on. I will continue
to walk along the path of life, mistakes and pain
will always show their face. I will take them as they
come, because stronger I have become.

I reflect on the past, yet chose not to
live there. Many a regret along the path
I could not change, it went by in a flash,
into thin air. I am grateful for all the pain
and tests as it has brought me today
To a level of happiness that is the best.
I feel nothing but light upon my face each
day, I feel so complete and carefree. My
spirit is soaring and shining

Remember, remember my friend and
Never forget all of your life has all been a test,
welcome the challenges and pain as they will only make
you learn and grow. Every day is a baby step, and
you are in control of your response as you walk the Journey
of life on your own.

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