2008-05-09

Happy Birthday

Hi Everyone,
Hope you are all doing well. Elsie is doing better not having a tube in her mouth. She still can't talk, probably because her throat is sore. She mouthed words and wrote on paper. She was happy to get a horse statue from her niece Helen. Elsie used to take her to the Horse barns on Sunday's when Helen was little. She told Helen when she walked in the room that today is Larry's Birthday. So she is on the ball. I made him dinner tonight and gave him a cake so he was not home alone on his birthday. Tomorrow I am going back to work. I took sometime off with all I was going through. I will be working with Nathaniel. I work at a place with disabled people. Nathaniel has Autism, but he is an absolute joy. When I worked with him before I left we grew close. He knows I understand him and accept him for who he is. I have alot of compassion for the disabled because growing up with my mom, she had a mental disability. She got better as you may have read in my previous posts. I just will never forget the way people in society treat the mentally ill or any other disability. I would get so angry at the people who were rude to my mother. I just wanted to scream at them, if she had cancer would you look at her that way, or treat her that way!!! I still feel to this day society does not know how to deal with people who are different or special. That is because it is one of the ways we have been conditioned from a young age by society. If you did not look or act a certain way, society did not want to have anything to do with you. This is what Eckart Tolle talks in his book as well. In his new earth book he tells of a time he saw a women on the train who was speaking out loud to no one. She apparently had schizophrenia. As he came to his stop on the train to go to his school she got off as well. She was heading into the building of his school where he was studying to be a professor. He thought how could she be here, at the same building as me. He lost track of her and when he was in the Men's room he thought to himself, I hope I don't wind up like that. Suddenly the man next to him said what? Eckart had thought he said it to himself but actually said it out loud. He got anxious thinking I am just like her! That was his first glimpse into awareness. I think in my head, she thinks out loud, their was only different degrees of madness within us all. After that day he had some years of anxiety and depression until the day he wanted to take his own life. When he said I cannot live with myself anymore, he realized he was talking about himself in two forms. I and myself. Then awareness came to him. Their is the conditioned consciousness, the tapes in our heads and the inner unconsciousness, which is our light or spirit he calls it. We never feel our true self because we are caught up in our thought processes. If we get out of our own thoughts that have been conditioned all our lives and focus on the now, with no tapes playing we find peace and our true spirit that really wants to be in a happy place all the time with everything around us. So in a sense, step out of your old ways of thinking and look at everything with a new light, no condition, no prejudices and see who it effects you and the people around you.

Take Care,
Janet :)

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