Detachment

Hello Everyone, I hope your doing well today. I joined a group therapy session with Em and a few other women yesterday. I am so glad I did. I met a woman who likes to walk the Plymouth Ma Waterfront too, so maybe I'll get out of my cellar where my treadmill is and enjoy walking there again, when the New England weather allows me too that is LOL! I appreciate being around other women who are real, down to earth. Women I can talk too that truly have an understanding of what I am going through, because they are there to work on themselves and their relationships as well. No judgments, no facades, which is so freeing from certain people I use to consider friends. I know, now more than ever, the true meaning of friendship looking back. My girlfriends growing up were so compassionate, loved me despite my faults. I just can't seem to find that now. I wish I had stayed in touch with them more now, but I settled down before them and life just took us on different paths. So today I find myself asking is it me, or is the world just becoming more narcissistic, because as hard as I try I can't seem to find those special friends I use to have growing up. I know I have my faults, but I'm really not that bad, even when I was at my worst. I mean did I have to spell it out, I was in need of a friend, not an enemy, but as they say, it is what it is. So I am just letting it go now, learning to detach from expectations and painful memories. Now I appreciate even more that I have a big family and have that unconditional love from each and everyone of them. My siblings and I learned unconditional love early on with my mother and her illness. It was simple Humanity 101, although your mother is not June Clever,(RIP), she was still our mother and we loved her, not matter what, and as time went on, and things got better, we reaped the rewards of having that humanity towards her because to know her was to love her. So every day, more and more, I am detaching myself from the people and things that have hurt me. I will no longer allow them to have power over me, rent space in my head, and make me feel bad about myself, as I have allowed them too the past year. I will change the way I reacted to all of my situations in life. I am going to continue to focus on myself here and now, accept calmly whatever happens so I can truly enjoy inner balance and peace. I will keep the faith too that a new friendship like the old ones will come my way again. Today my blogs hit an all time high for visitors, about 200. I found these stat's thanks to entrecard. My sitemeter missed about 80 of them!! If any of you out there know of a better meter for your blog or website please let me know. I even paid for the upgrade and that is the service I get?? So a very special Thank you to everyone, I really appreciate all your visits.
Thank you for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)



Detachment and Being Detached
By Remez Sasson

Detachment is an inner state of calmness and being uninvolved on the emotional and mental planes. It is definitely not indifference. People who are indifferent do not care about anything, and are not active and initiative. On the other hand, people who possess emotional and mental detachment can be very active and caring, though they accept calmly whatever happens. Such people accept the good and the bad equally, because they enjoy inner balance and peace.

If they cannot do or change something, it does not disturb their peace of mind. If they are convinced of the importance of some action, they will pursue it whole-heartedly, and can ignore distractions easily. If they succeed with what they do, that is fine, and if they don't, they will either try again or forget the matter and move to something else.

Count the number of times you got emotionally involved in something against your will and better judgment. How many times have you got angry, frustrated or disappointed? How many times have your moods swung high and low? Each time you tell yourself that next time you will stay cool and calm, and yet each time you forget what you said.

When it comes to personal affairs, it is hard to stay emotionally uninvolved. You get involved, and this is quite natural, otherwise life would have been boring. Involvement makes life ticking and active. Yet, it advisable to develop at least some detachment, as this will help you in many situations.

Detachment is important in daily life, in the pursuit of ambitions and on the spiritual path. It is of great importance to everyone, whether pursuing spirituality or material success. Every spiritual tradition speaks about detachment, but detachment cannot be confined only to spirituality.

Let me give you some examples of detachment. Suppose you meditate, but thoughts keep coming into your mind. You get emotionally involved with your thoughts, follow them and forget about your meditation and concentration. If you were able to manifest detachment it would have been easier to ignore the disturbing thoughts. Detachment would have helped you to stay collected and concentrated.

What happens when somebody says to you something that you do not like? You will probably become angry, unhappy or insulted. Why is this so? Because you value other's people words and opinions more than you value your own thoughts and opinions of yourself. You let other's people thoughts, words and actions influence your happiness, actions and reactions. Your happiness and actions depend on them.

On the other hand, if you are able to stay detached, you will not be disturbed. You will stay calm. You will even be able to benefit from what they say. You will not waste hours thinking about their words.

Have you ever thought how much time and energy is wasted every day brooding on useless thoughts and feelings because of the lack of detachment? Much of the anger, frustration, unhappiness, disappointments and fights are due to lack of detachment.

One of the ways to develop detachment is through meditation. It is a gradual and automatic process. In meditation one endeavors not to follow the thoughts and feelings that rise. It is a time of a mental and emotional vacation. Meditating day after day develops the habit of staying cool and calm, not only during meditation, but also in all daily life.

If you practice any kind of meditation, sooner or later you will start to experience detachment. You will find that you feel and behave in a different way under circumstances that previously raised anger or agitation. You will find that you handle your daily affairs of life in a calm and relaxed way.

Real detachment means inner strength, and the ability to function calmly and with full inner control under all circumstances. A detached person is not harassed and hurried, and can do everything with concentration and attention, thus insuring a successful outcome of his actions.

Living To Learn

Hi Everyone, I hope you are doing well. I am having a day I would rather not have. This is sooo hard for me to write, but I need to, need to get it out, so I don't forget this feeling. This post will always be flashed in front of me every time I blog. I also want to be honest with you, my readers, about my life because a blog is an online Journal and many of you have stuck by me through the bad as well as the good so far and for that I am so, so grateful. So I'll take a deep breath and here goes... I met with my Lawyer today. I learned of something else I did on the night I got busted for a second time. Another blackout incident, great!! Then I could not stop thinking about all of the things I did to others and the reality of the damage I have caused myself too, so painful. I am so full of remorse it brings me to tears. It horrifies me now thinking of what I could do with liquor in me. I feel like I have been asleep for a while and I am just waking up, waking up to who I would become under the influence. They say the definition of Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and getting the same results, that is what drinking did for me. I kept repeating dumb ass behavior expecting a different outcome each time, like Hello Janet, how Wet is your Brain?? I wish I went and got help a long time ago,I should have gone after my mother's Death, I was a walking nervous breakdown now that I look back, it was just a matter of time before it all came crashing down on me. It was truly too much loss, her alone, never mind the three other women that suffered and lost their battles with life. Part of recovery is making amends through Step 8 of the 12 Steps to those I hurt, did wrong by, went crazy on, owe money,etc. I will work very hard on that step even though I am probably a long way from it, you have to start at 1 for those of you who do not know the program. In the meantime I will work hard to forgive myself. I'll try not to focus on the baggage, and thanks to friends like Kim who let me know I am not alone today, I can cry just a little less. Most of all I am not looking for sympathy, just to heal through writing, which has always been my way. One thing I have learned in life is to take responsibility for my actions and I have no problem with that even though I will pay dearly for what I have done, I deserve it. I made a lot of bad choices. I have a pet peeve about people who don't own up to their faults and mistakes, they're only fooling themselves not us. The court is going to make me do another two weeks my lawyer said, even though I'll be sober 62 days when I go back this month, because when I went to WATC FOR 27 DAYS!!(Yes I am Venting) It was not a state run rehab for second offenders, never mind everything that goes along with the rest of the sentence. Sometimes I think the Courts pass these stricter laws, just to make more money, and boy are they making a lot of money off a lot of people's mistakes!! If it was truly just about reform and safety, just how much do they think one person needs? making you go into a rehab sober?? Why do we pay the money to them and not MADD? Forgive me for being judgemental, but something about that doesn't sit right by me!(OK Done Venting) So learn from me don't get in the habit of daily drinking, it can lead to only bad things happening, be it mentally or physically, something will happen. And most important of all is, of course don't drive, even if you think your ok, your probably not. I swore I never would again, I wish I could step outside myself and kick my own ass sometimes LOL! See writing this is already making me feel better, I was just able to laugh. And when these days come upon me, like I know they will, I'll just keep living to learn, learning to live.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)

I like this, Good perspective!

I don't regret one thing I've gone through
Not one tear I've cried or broken heart
Cause had it not been for the pain
I might not be where I am
Have who I have
I Thank God for all the pain
because it made me who I am
And that is something that can
never be replaced

Great Song, can't stop listening
to it!!

Angels 101

Hi Everyone,
I hope you are doing well, I am doing good. Recently two dear friends I met through my blog who are bloggers as well have loved ones who are ill. One friends family member is very sick and they are having trouble figuring what is going on. The other friend's family member is in hospice care. I remembered a book I turned too everyday when my mother was very ill and then put into hospice care. The title of the book is called Angels 101 by Dorothy Virtue PH.D, An introduction to working, and healing with the Angels. I would look through the book and pray to the different Angels for different needs as they arouse on a daily basis. It did bring us comfort I feel and somehow guidance would come to me in small ways. What to say, how to comfort, how to stay strong when all I wanted to do is yell at God or the supreme being for having her suffer after all she had been through in her life already. When my mother passed somehow I put down the book, and stopped praying to them and reading it, not sure why? I had an Angel reading once with a friend, it was a beautiful experience, I could truly feel light and energy all around my body. It was a lot of white light around me as well. As soon as I heard of my friends situation I turned to the book again. I prayed to Raphael who's name means "one who heals" for their loved ones. I thought this would be good to share with all of you who believe in the Angels as well. It is a good time of year to bring spirituality back into your life if it has slipped away in the daily grind of life. I will begin by describing the higher Archy of Angels and then sharing them and what their specialties are. I am going to begin to read it again and use it as a tool in my daily life. Looking forward to sharing the real life experience of other people in this book with you as well. Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care,
Janet :)

Archangels are managers over seeing our guardian angels. They are one type of the nine choirs of angels (which include angels, archangels, principalities, powers, virtues, dominions,thrones, cherubim and seraphim). Of these forms of angels, guardian angels and archangels are the most involved with helping Earth and her inhabitants.

Compared to guardian angels, archangels are very large, loud, and powerful, yet they're also extremely loving and egoless. As nonphysical celestial beings, they don't have genders. However, their specific fortes and characteristics give them distinctive male and female energies and personas.
The Bible names Archangels Michael and Gabriel. Some versions of the Bible also list Archangels Raphael and Uriel. Ancient Jewish texts expand this list to 15 Archangels.

You'll notice in the list that follows that all but two of the archangels' names end in the suffix "el" which is Hebrew for "of God" or "from God." Two exceptions were Biblical prophets who lived such exemplary lives that they ascended to archangeldom following their human lives.

The archangels are sometimes called by different names, but her are the most common ones, along with their specialities, characteristics, and brief histories.

Raphael. His names means "One who Heals" He heals ailments and guides healers and would be healers and helps the suffering. He's one of the presently sainted archangels (the others being Michael and Gabriel, although at one time seven archangels were canonized). In the book of Tobit(a canonical Bible work) Raphael describes himself as a servant before the Glory of the Lord. He is believed to be on the three archangels who visited the patriarch Abraham. Because he assisted Tobias on his journey, Raphael is considered a patron saint of travelers. His main role, though, is in healing and assisting healers.

I got you

Hi Everyone,
I made this video to dedicate it to anyone who has suffered from a mental illness or watched their loved one suffer. Whitney's beautiful spirit shines through on this song. Remember to all my friends I got you. Enjoy and share if you would like too.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care,
Janet :)

Welcome Home Kat, and Thank You Friends

Hi Everyone,
I hope you are doing well, I am doing good, I am watching a great game of baseball between the Red Sox's and the Kansas City! Pete is an early riser and I am a night owl and Scott is in his room as he is so often now that he is a teenage, I am glad when he gets hungry so I I can see and talk to him!! I wanted to take the time to say Welcome Home to my friend Kat from http://candlesandcrafts.blogspot.com/ who is also the Editor-in-Chief and Creative Director at http://www.angelsezine.com/ the ezine I write weekly as Dolly Loving, my mothers nickname was Dolly. Kat invited me to write there and I am so happy she did, I love the ezine it inspires me and helps me to grow as a writer. I met Kat through my blog and luckily she lives a couple of towns over, one day I had the pleasure of hanging out with her and she is a riot, I felt like I knew her all my life. Kat I am glad you took a well deserved vacation in Ohio, you work tirelessly for all the writers and make the ezine what it is today. On top of that Kat you are one the few true friends I have ever had and I thank you for that, so welcome back and I look forward to catching up with you. As I started writing this to you Kat it also got me thinking about the other true friends I have been blessed with in my life. As the years have passed, now I know I am showing my age LOL! I have one hand full of true friends and I want to take the time to say THANK YOU! These past couple of years has also taught me gratitude in a way I never knew it before. You a true friends in my book because even when I was not at my best through some difficult times and may have lashed out without meaning to, you still forgave me and stayed my friend. You don't know what that meant to me and I believe you have all helped me to stay strong when I wanted to just not deal with the grief anymore and hide away. So here is a shout out to you! Hope I don't get to mushy

Donna, I met Donna at work, you are excellent with the disabled and they are lucky to have you. I think you are what they call the salt of the earth. I will never forget how much you supported me by listening, and letting me cry and offering help throughout all those loses. One thing sticks out in my mind Donna, when Christa was giving birth a few days early so their baby could meet her dying grandmother Wendy, you said to me "I can't imagine what you are going through, if you even need me to food shop for you, let me know." No one had ever offered that to me even the friends at the time I thought were there for me and later realized they were not. With all you have on your plate, taking care of your daughter and her busy schedule, working full time it is something I will never forget, and I forget a lot. Donna I think your compassion for me came from the fact that we both lost our parents in similar ways. Both of our Father's left us without a chance to say goodbye. Every time I hear Bob Seager I think of the two of you. Our mothers had to suffer through a long illness and how hard it must of been for you and your family to lose her at the age of 52? sorry if I got that wrong but I know it was around there. Yet throughout the day at work, we always had a good laugh, I miss that it was the best medicine to help me heal, Thanks again :)

Shirley you are an inspirational person who I met at work and like Donna you did all the same things for me. Shirley even though you probably could retire you are the youngest person at heart and you continue to devote your time working with the disabled. Shirley you have insights to their needs that many don't see. They are also so lucky to have you in their lives. The most fun I have with you Shirley is talking about our grandchildren. Your grandson Oliver is so handsome and Even though your daughter is currently living out of state some day we are going to get them together and when they are older maybe we will send them to the alter together LOL! Christa and I loved bringing Briana by to visit with you and everyone at TLC, you were so loving to her and I will never forget that. I am sorry I have not caught up with you yet for coffee, I promise I will. I have been spoiled being out of work, not that I like that, but with Scott being on vacation some mornings I sleep until 8am and don't think I can get to McDonald's in time to meet you, but I am working on that, or I will give you a call to find another time to meet. You and Donna and everyone at TLC are in my thoughts everyday. Thank you for always being supportive and a true friend :)

SoulMerlin from http://soulmerlin.typepad.com/reflections/ I was lucky enough to met you through my blog and even though you live in England I feel I know you as if you lived here next door. You are truly one of the most inspirational and great writers I have ever met. When I read your stories of your journeys for example to like to Stonehenge, you write so well I feel like I am there. You always comment on my blog and it touches my heart more than you'll know. I appreciate that you keep me posted on your blog as well. You were also so supportive of me the past two year and I want you to know I will never forget that. I will be in touch soon. Hope all is well with you :)

Bing of http://pinklady-bing.blogspot.com/ I also met you online and you also live half way across the world, yet you have helped me so much with my grief by reading your story. You continue to share your journey from losing your husband James to finding yourself again. You help and inspire so many people with your honesty and strength. I am so glad our paths crossed. You have helped me in more ways than you know, thanks for always taking the time to be a true friend :)

Wow, I have been typing for about two hours now, but it is something I really wanted to do, Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care,
Janet :)

Engulfed by Grief

Hi Everyone,
I hope you are all doing well. I am doing pretty good. A week ago today I attended a memorial service for my neighbor Hedi. Hedi was only 37 years old. Last October she went to the hospital for a pain in her chest. It wound up being linked to a few brain tumors. When they discovered this it was already to late. She left behind a son who is only 11 years old and her husband. I have been overwhelmed in the past two years with death and disease all around me, my best friend Sue gone at 59yrs old, Wendy 52yrs old, My mother and mother in law 5 months apart and just a couple of weeks ago two people I cared for at the village only two days apart only 31 and 59. Being a spiritual person I am trying to figure out what this is teaching me. I usually think it is teaching me how precious life is, but I already know that. Is it to teach me to take better care of myself??? I am already working on that. There must be something else, some lesson that will come out of all this grief and loss. I know as you get older you begin to lose more people in your life. In this case though alot of them were too young. Whatever the lesson though it is a hard learned one.
Thanks for visiting my blog today.
Janet :)

Horray for Bloggerwood!

Hi Everyone,
And the Oscar goes to me LOL!!! Being the Academy Awards tonight and having planned on posting these awards tonight, which is truly coincidental. I thought I would use their theme with these awards I got from two of my best friends to start my post. But kidding aside I am truly grateful to the both of you who are a constant support and always inspiring to me. I appreciate you recognition of what I do here. I just wish I could have given them to you first. I have been given this award from Kat at http://candlesandcrafts.blogspot.com/ This award comes with some fun rules: List 5 reasons why you think life is "grand" and pass along the happiness to five fellow bloggers!!!!!
I think my life is grand because:
1.Life is grand because I have my health.
2.Life is grand because I have a loving family.
3.Life is grand because I am lucky to have loved all
the people who are no longer in my life.
4.Life is grand because I work with the most caring
people who are more like family, than a job.
5.Life is grand because I have met so many amazing and
inspiring people through this blog.
I pass this on to
Julieanne at http://beinspiredtodayjpaige.blogspot.com/
Ray at http://esoteric-journey.blogspot.com/
Kimmy at http://www.kimmysharinglight.com/
Henry at http://soulmerlin.typepad.com/reflections/
Maitri at http://maitrisheart.blogspot.com/


I received this award from Bing at http://www.pinklady-bing.blogspot.com/
This is what the "Let's Be Friends" Award represents:
These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award. I also pass this award on to
Julieanne at http://beinspiredtodayjpaige.blogspot.com/
Henry at http://soulmerlin.typepad.com/reflections/
Ray at http://esoteric-journey.blogspot.com/
Kimmy at http://www.kimmysharinglight.com/
Maitri at http://maitrisheart.blogspot.com/
Christine athttp://christine-livepassionately.blogspot.com/
Jane at http://janedoesmusings.blogspot.com/
Lea at http://www.oceanofperspectives.com/
Thanks for visiting my blog today, more loving kindness to follow.
Take Care,
Janet :)