2011-02-26

Busted On Google

Hi Everyone, Happy Saturday, Here a few things I have come across either on the internet or Facebook. I hope you have a few laughs for yourselves! Most of all though, I hope you have a great weekend :)
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)

Google Proves Humanity Is Sick and Sad, Yet Absolutely Hilarious!













According to Google's search, 303,000 people out there were "extremely terrified of Chinese people". We got deeper into Humanity's brain, and got a list of hilarious and scary findings:

• 5,310,000 pages from people asking or answering: How to get pregnant.
• 69,400,000 people asking How to make money.
• 32,600,000: How to get over someone.
• 3,290,000: Who do I have to be to make you sleep with me.
• 841,000: I have a large cat in my pants.
• 3,300,000: I have a large uterus.
• 112,000: I have a lovely bunch of coconuts (lots of swallows surfing the web).
• 256,000,000: I want to die.
• 3,160,000: Why do I fart so much.
• 528,000: Why do indians smell.
• 63,500,000: Why do I sleep so much.
• 680,000: Why do I have green poop.
• 883,000,000: Why do I have no friends.
• 7,570,000: Why do I have diarrhea.
• 4,170,000: Why do I have so much discharge.
• 7,120,000: Why do I have to pee so much.
• 230,000,000: Why do I have gas or so much gas.
• 456,000: Why do men have nipples.
• 6,000,000: Why men don't call.
• 8,380,000: Why men lie.
• 11,000,000: Why women have affairs.
• 36,500,000: Why women lie.
• 94,200,000: Why Obama should be president.
• 19,100,000: Why Obama should not be president.
• 42,300: Why Luke Skywalker is an idiot.
• 1,610,000: I would like to buy a hamburger.
• 286,000: I would like to extend you an invitation to the pants party (at Jason's house, in Jason's pants).
• 818,000: I think im pregnant.
• 442,000: I hate Indiana Jones 4.
• Almost 800,000,000: Who do I vote for.
• 4,980,000: I want a new drug.
• 114,000,000: I want a wife (114 million people are nuts).
• 783,000: I have one testicle.
• 21,900,000: I have one more drink.
• 12,400,000: I have three breasts.
• 320,000: I have three testicles.
• 1,580,000: I have three girlfriends.
• 610,000: I have four sides, all opposite sides are parallel, I have no right angles. What am I.
• 159,000,000: When to work.
• 126,000,000: When to say I love you.
• 2,730,000: Sleep is for sissies.
• 2,890,000: I smeel like poop.
• 1,510,000: What is a recession.
• 1,400,000: I have a hard time swallowing.
• 338,000: I have a big bag of crabs here.
• 1,060,000: Sex is for making babies and revenge.

How to Achieve Inner Peace
Here's some advice from a top psychologist:
Dr. Neil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Pinot Noir, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bottle of Baileys, a bottle of Kaluha, a packet of Penguins, the remainder of bottle of Prozac, Valium prescriptions, the rest of the Cheesecake, and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how good I feel!
(If this is real I'm jealous,LOL!)



8 comments:

  1. ROTFLMAO!! That was totally awesome! I loved the 'How to achieve inner peace one the best' I'm gonna get right on that!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good to know I'm not alone on that one Raven, hope we both feel that good too LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  3. LOL!!! The problem is I don't have that many bottles...so...I have to get extra bottles? :)

    Thanks for the laugh. Have a great weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Dolly's Daily Diary" has been included in this weeks A Sunday Drive. I hope this helps to attract even more new visitors here.

    http://asthecrackerheadcrumbles.blogspot.com/2011/02/sunday-drive_27.html

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think I have the inner peace down pat.LOL

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you Russ and Cat, you make me laugh, I love your comments :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you so, so much Fishhawk, you made my day, week and so much more!! Your a sweetheart, I'll be in touch this week about the other blog :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Lol! wiping the tears of my eyes...can hardly catch my breath.

    I'm still wondering at "114,000,000: I want a wife". The ratio of women to men globally is like 4:1. Something is wrong with these guys.

    Thank you! for you have just given me a piece of my inner peace today ;p That was a good one!


    Namz recent post Beer Anyone?

    ReplyDelete