Nothin' But Love For Ya!!

Hi Everyone,
I hope you are all doing well, I am doing great. Two weeks from tonight I will be cuddling with Pete while we watch the sunset in Aruba. Not to make anyone jealous, but it is well deserved, we have not been away alone in 26 years. It is funny how thoughts just flow through your mind and sometimes they give you inspiration or insight. On Thursday I took Scott to the Dentist and while he was being treated I was by myself, which I don't mind but it was without a computer in front of me LOL! I went outside and enjoyed the fresh air and then I got thinking about my life. It is so great right now I don't know how to put it into words, but here goes! Since my childhood I watched my Mother suffer and struggle with her Mental Illness,but in the end she was my best friend, then my father suffered from Heart Disease and died when I was only 23, which still hurts. When I moved out with Pete and had Christa I thought I was all set, but then Anxiety Disorder took over me. To all my followers I know you know my story, so when I was sitting outside the Dentist Office the other day, I felt like I had a spiritual awakening like Oprah LOL!, I am free of the pain from the past and especially the past two years. My Mom and Elsie and Dad and Wendy and Sue are resting in Peace together. I realized how excited I am about my future, going back to school, enjoying my grandchild and the one's to come and how grateful I am to wake up happy everyday. I have raised two great kids and now I have time to get back to me, me and Pete and anything or anyone else I want to. I also thought about how lucky I have been to have had the friends that stood by my side as miserable events unfolded around me. To all of you who supported me through these tough times,especially my friends from the village who are in my book the best of the best. People who go above and beyond caring for the disabled. A cause that is a priority in my life. Thank you to each and every one of you. You are the reason I feel this happiness now and I have nothin but love for ya,:) To Nikki C and Gina B and my ex co workers at the Village that I thought were my friends you showed me that you were never a friend as you kicked me when I was down and needed you the most, talked shit about me, called me a liar when I told the truth, I have got nothin but love for ya as well.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care,
Janet :)

I Still Look To You Mom

Hi Everyone,
I hope you are doing well, I am doing good. Even though I posted this over at Stigma No More, I decided to post it here as well, for those who don't visit my other blog. I have to change the words around so google doesn't consider me a copy cat I learned that from my friend Kat LOL! This morning I was inspired by watching Whitney Houston make her comeback on on Good Morning America. I wish her all the best and I was so touched by this song she sang to her mother. I can't explain it but this song really hits home for me. I hit that point many times when my mother was dying, and a few other loved ones were at the same time. Many times at night when I could not take the pain anymore I just wanted to check myself in Pembroke Hospital and Lay in a bed and be drugged up for a couple of weeks so I did not have to feel the pain anymore. It brings tears to my eyes to think of that time again. But it feels good to open up about it. I never went because I could not leave my mother and mother in law. Whitney's words speak to me as if she knew how I was feeling at the time, my levee's have broken, my walls have come coming down on me crumbling down on me,all the rain is falling the rain is falling, defeat is calling, set me free. The road often led to regrets as well. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, I just felt today that I wanted to share with you a time and place in my life. I have carried on and the day's are much brighter and at night I sleep with peace. I still look to you Mom, when I talk to you I know you hear me and I will never forget the time you came to me in my dream, and hugged me it felt so real and said to me it is goodbye for now, not forever. Sometimes when I am really missing her I picture her smiling face next to me in Angel form. It may sound silly to some, but to others they will understand what I mean. I hope you all have that someone you can look to. I like this album some people are saying it is a disappointment. People set expectations to high, how could Whitney ever sound bad??? I read this afternoon that she apologized for her performance on GMA, she has been talking alot to Oprah and others. I still thought she sounded great, looking forward to hearing her at her best LOL!
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care,
Janet:)

A Poem For All Of Our Moms, and Dads

Hi Everyone,
I hope you are all doing well, I am doing good. Through the past few years.
I have come across so many friends that have lost their parents. I know their
pain as I have experienced it myself. Today was sad for me and Pete, we had
a yard sale with most of his mother's belongings. When they did not sell at
the end of the day, we decided that we just could not keep them all. As we
put some of them all in a barrel to be dropped off at the dump and goodwill
our hearts were breaking, because it was like we were throwing her away in
some strange way. Even though we know she would have understood.
So tonight I wrote this poem in memory of her and my parents and
for all of my friends parents.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care
Janet :)

As I sit out on my deck,
The clouds make my hair
wet. Although I continue
to look above to the skies,
the rain does not keep me
from looking for your smiles

As the clouds weave
in and out of the stars,
I think you are so far,
yet in my heart you
will never leave.

You were both my first
loves, I wish I knew this
when I was young.
Until I grew and became
the same as you,
I did not realize, how
much parents influence
our lives.

Yet for all you gave
us, It was not in vain
I will pass on your
traditions, to all my
grandchildren.
Every time we laugh
or smile, you will be
with us all the while.