My Heart is Breaking

Hi Everyone,
I hope you are all doing well. I am doing good. I just feel so sad for
my co worker Shirley. Shirley and her son Phil took in two children
Sal and Sophia, the state though decided that they should go stay with
an Aunt in Ohio. After they took care of them and did it so well for the
past two years. I am so upset tonight knowing these two children had to
go away from what they knew, but he state thinks they know what is best.
To take them from a happy home to a home they don't know
I hate the DSS system. They don't know what they are doing!!
Take Care,


  1. Hi Janet,

    I understand how you - and they - feel, having been there myself. But I must tell you that the need for that blood bond is exremely strong in young children. Often, they would rather live under substantially worse conditions with a parent or blood relative, who can validate their identity and sense of belonging, than with others under the best of circumstances.

    I know it's hard - but it really could work out well for the children. Their interests must be the primary concern.

    It doesn't mean that the kids will stop loving your friends or forget them. They will miss them; but it may be all good.

    I'm still in regular contact with my little girl (not so little anymore!)and we still love each other - but the move has been very, very good for her - BECAUSE of that sense of belonging. It's had a remarkable effect.

    Be strong.

  2. I too know this lady. The children made as much difference or more in this ladies life as she did in theirs!!! The children never met this Aunt til just recently. The Aunt also lived in another state.The state she lives in isn't just a 2 hour drive away either.
    I could go on but I wont!!
    Take Care!

  3. I feel for all of them. It's hard. So very, very hard.

  4. Well, I understand your feelings and a breaking heart. I'm a non-custodial mother who lives 1,000 miles away from her kids. (That's a story for my book!) But I also know that things can seem so bad at the time but that there is healing to be done, so give your friends the love and support they will be needing right now, uplift the children in your hearts (with all the love and good intentions you can muster) and trust that it will all be ok. Some children don't have relatives at all--and there is a connection with family that can run deep. I'd say that is something to be grateful for. Imagine the children who nobody wants....There is always a way to look at the brighter side of things, no matter what.

    You and your friends are with me in spirit, as well are the children and their aunt. Warmly, Barbara

  5. It happens over here a lot....social workers drive me mad with their meddling...and at the same time, they often overlook the most obvious signs of maltreatment.