L.S.O.B from S. Weymouth

Hi Everyone,
How are ya, good I'm sure. Last night at work the full moon was in full bloom. So many nasty customers, I was ready to jump over the counter and get right back in their faces. Then I thought maybe we should start keeping Valium, Alcohol to give them to calm down. One women wanted to call the media on us because our computer rang up a couple of prices wrong on her. I was at the point I wanted to hand her a gun and say why don't you just put yourself out of your misery now LOL! Another earthquake, Anyone feeling Armageddon. To much suffering going on around the world, it breaks my heart. The Body Combat class kicked my ass when I started it this week, but I love, its kickboxing but with Japanese style fighting. I feel better and better all the time. Especially not smoking. I give you a lot of credit Henry for doing it cold turkey. I would not have been able to quit without the patch and the e stick. My friend at work told me they have a booth at the South Shore Plaza that sells e cigarettes. So if you live local and are trying to quit you can get them there instead of online. The best part of quitting is I am not spending three thousand dollars a year to slowly kill myself. Insane the cost of cigarettes today. So I went to the plaza on Friday to get an extra stick to charge while I use one. Even though I don't need it as much it is good to have a back up. They only sold the starter pack, so back online I go. So while I was there and had the day off I got myself a salad and sat in the food court. I couldn't believe how many people around me were speaking another language. It got me thinking how much my world has changed and how fast it has gone by so far. My girlfriends and I use to hop on a bus in South Weymouth were we grew up and head over to the plaza to pick up boys! During that time you could smoke in the plaza, so we would ask the cute ones for a light. I don't recall ever having a boyfriend from there but who remembers everything from their childhood, not me. And back in that day just about everyone spoke English. Then I decided to go to the Blue Hills Cemetery down the street. My Mom and Dad are buried there and so is my Mother in Law. They are literally around the corner from each other. I thought I would clean off their gravestones from the long winter. When I got there, there was a service going on. Seeing them all standing under the tent brought back the pain of that heart wrenching day when you have to say goodbye knowing you will never physically see them again. One thing I have learned about grief is it comes upon you when you least expect it. It can be a simple scent that your mother wore, or a Scally hat someone is wearing like your Dad did. It never really ends, and it can be 23 yrs later or months apart to weeks or days. For the first time in my life I got on my knees at my parents resting place and the memory of that last day with each of them came over me, the rain bothered me none as my face was already wet. I have always just stood there said a prayer and headed back out. Maybe this is growth, not keeping the grief inside as much as I have in the past. One too many lights are out for me in Braintree. As I went home I took the back roads through South Weymouth to take a so called trip down memory lane. Oh there is the field behind Shell that me and my friends hung out in all the time. We took many acid trips there, smoked a lot of pot, drank a shitload. Then if you were lucky enough to have a boyfriend or girlfriend we would go to our so called "Chambers" for some alone time. Those were the days my friends. And now you know why I am like I am LOL! We were also lucky enough to get good chase from the cops every now and again. I Drove by my childhood home. The new owners have redone it and it looks beautiful even though it always looked beautiful to me. The dead end street I grew up on now looks so little, yet it was so huge when I was a child. There were some painful memories I recalled of friends lost to accidents, suicides. I am lucky enough to still have one of my best friends growing up there Tommy living here in Kingston with me and our children go to school together. I realize each and every experience there and here now in my life has made me the sum total of who I am today. And I like myself so far. I look forward to adding to that sum as I travel along my journey. Speaking of kicking ass, Lisa Marie Presley, Queen of Cool in my book. I love how she whales out at the end of this video. I feel the same way about my losses.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Have a great day,
Janet :)

Lisa Marie Presley - Lights Out - Watch more Music Videos at Vodpod.

Waves Of Grief

Hi Everyone,
I hope you are all doing well, I am doing good. At this time in my life everything is going so good, I am so happy to be going away to Aruba with my hubby. Pete and I have reconnected in such a loving way now that the kids have grown up. We sit together every night and tell each other how much we love each other and we also have alot of laughs together. I look forward to going back to College and getting my Master's Degree. I also love being a grandmother. Briana is such a ray of sunshine because Christa and Dana are doing such a good job as parents. Yet I find myself lately crying for my Mom and Dad . I thought I cried myself out already for my Dad who passed away when I was 23 years old. My mother I lost only last year. I think now that I just want them here to enjoy their grandchildren. They would have been young enough to do that. I have just realize that grief just comes in waves and then flows away. I was driving the other day and listening to one of my favorite songs my Dave Matthews, Two Step and in the song he say's Oh my love do you think we could last forever if not for our flesh and bones. It just hit me that day how much I miss holding my Mother's hand, and everything else about her that I was consumed with tears. I am sure that you have all been there if you have lost your Parents. I wrote this poem for all of us.
Thanks for visiting my blog today,
Take care,
Janet :)


Grief in Waves

Today my heart aches,
I miss you mom and dad.
You should still be here,
It is not fair

Time does not take away,
the pain when your spirit went
on it's way. I know the Angels
were with you. I wish I could have
been too.

Not knowing what your experienced
at that time, haunts my mind. I hope
your passing was peaceful, as in
your life that was not fulfilled.

As I go forward in life, I still
miss you by my side.
Some day's are harder
than others. Being without
the love of my Father and Mother.

I carry on with the belief, that
you are watching over me.
I hope you hear my laughter
and my cries when I miss
your loving hearts, knowing
some day we will again never
be apart.

Engulfed by Grief

Hi Everyone,
I hope you are all doing well. I am doing pretty good. A week ago today I attended a memorial service for my neighbor Hedi. Hedi was only 37 years old. Last October she went to the hospital for a pain in her chest. It wound up being linked to a few brain tumors. When they discovered this it was already to late. She left behind a son who is only 11 years old and her husband. I have been overwhelmed in the past two years with death and disease all around me, my best friend Sue gone at 59yrs old, Wendy 52yrs old, My mother and mother in law 5 months apart and just a couple of weeks ago two people I cared for at the village only two days apart only 31 and 59. Being a spiritual person I am trying to figure out what this is teaching me. I usually think it is teaching me how precious life is, but I already know that. Is it to teach me to take better care of myself??? I am already working on that. There must be something else, some lesson that will come out of all this grief and loss. I know as you get older you begin to lose more people in your life. In this case though alot of them were too young. Whatever the lesson though it is a hard learned one.
Thanks for visiting my blog today.
Janet :)